Sweet Candy-Coated Jesus on a Pogo Stick! New Trailer for Bibleman: A Fight for Faith

I…I’m speechless. When a game video mentions “educational Bible scripture and exciting battle sequences” in the same breath, you know you’re in for a trailer treat. An initial viewing of this trailer for the upcoming Bibleman: A Fight for Faith, took me on an emotional roller coaster ride of confusion, bemusement, and finally, pure WTF-ness.

The video starts by introducing us to the Bibleteam’s arch-nemesis, Wacky Protestor: a stereotypical super-nerd who apparently went crazy with the hair gel (I really wish I were making this up). Nevermind what that says about a superteam when they can claim this guy as their main villain; a name like that begs the question, just what exactly is he protesting? I did some scouting for information about him online — which was both painful and hilarious — but couldn’t find any mention of him actually protesting anything. And the main crime I found him committing was hijacking the satellite feed of a childrens show to deliver his own mandates for children to be selfish and disrespect authority. I know…LAME. Besides which, how is that really different from the typical Saturday morning cartoon fare these days? Apparently though, the Wacky Protestor’s latest scheme involves kidnapping two Bible School students and trapping them in a virtual world where there is no God. Yes, there’s an existential discussion in that premise, but there’s no way I’m touching that one.

Story elements aside, what I can’t understand are why some of the CG characters look pretty slick, while the actual gameplay looks like a nightmare from over a decade ago. And why does Bibleman have a lightsaber; I mean, “sword of the Spirit.” In the words of Chris Rock, “I think George Lucas gonna sue somebody.”