Parent Sells Pot Smoking Teen’s Guitar Hero III On eBay
By William on Thursday, December 6th, 2007 at 10:23 AM PST In Nintendo
Here’s the deal:
So I spent who knows how many hours of my life trying to get “Guitar Hero 3” for the Nintendo Wii for my 15 year old son who has been begging for it since he was born (well not really but he’s wanted it for awhile). So after waiting in lines and going into every game store in the city over the last 2 weeks (practically being laughed at when I asked for guitar hero 3) I finally got lucky and got one at EB Games (they just got a shipment of them 25 minutes before I walked in!).
So I was so relieved in that I had finally got the Holy Grail of Xmas presents pretty much just in the nick of time. I couldn’t wait to spread the jubilance to my son.
Then, yesterday, I came home from work early and what to I find? My innocent little boy smoking pot in the backyard with 2 of his delinquent friends.
Now I know santa applies the “naughty or nice” paradigm to determine who gets what on Christmas. My son (Isaac) hasn’t exactly been Mother Teresa this year (he got suspended for fighting in the spring, among other things) but I thought I could still justify getting him this present. Maybe it would make him stay home more and “rock out” on this fake guitar thing. He pretty much spends all his free time at his friend’s house playing it anyways (while high on marijuana, I would imagine).
Anyways, I am now finding it hard to justify rewarding him with this gift after he so greatly disappointed me. I know smoking a joint isn’t the end of the world, but if you can convince me that he deserves the gift, then I will end the auction. You will have to be very convincing. I am an elementary school teacher and I know that rewarding bad behavior is just asking for more of the same…
After I caught him getting high on my patio I did the typical yelling, screaming, kicking out the friends, etc… but I had not decided on a suitable way to punish him. As of the time of me writing this, he does not know I got him Guitar Hero 3. I will show him the auction once it is posted and we can watch it finish together. Sort of a “Father-Son bonding experience”. While I doubt this will keep him from ever smoking pot again, I think it will make him think twice before doing illegal (well I think pot is still illegal in Canada) drugs on my property.
I am still considering getting him a game for his Nintendo. Maybe something like Barbie as the Island Princess or Dancing With the Stars. These games are in stock everywhere I go, and I know he will just love them.
Merry Xmas Isaac. I hope you’ve learned your lesson. –Father.
That’s absolutely brilliant and, as such, I give full credit for an actual parent out there. The delicious irony though of watching the auction close as a bonding excercise is fantastic and probably will be enough to dissuade the son. When he finds out…damn, I do not want to be him, but then again, I don’t take illegal substances, so in that vain, I guess I have nothing to worry about there.
Yeah.. I think it was a great parenting move. That’s one father who cares.
NO thats LOW. there is other ways to correct him than sell his guitar hero 3 game. That will make him smoke more pot. I know i sure would.
I think thats low to do that. How would you truly feel if your #1 gift u wanted was sold because of something you did wrong. I know it wouldnt help, it would make me more pissed and ya, then see how much pot ill smoke. pounds of it. it could even drive a person to start selling it.
I hate how people make such a big deal on the pot. Canada its pretty care free. If my son was caught smoking pot, id be angry for not sharing it with me. Selling his guitar hero 3 game, is looking for a rebellion. id be pissed off.
and all you parents out there dont critize me, you know how teenagers get, you know he will rebelling and gonna smoke more pot. all i can say is his dads not a hero for selling his sons Guitar Hero.
I’m not saying he’s a hero, but I do like that he’s trying to teach his son a lesson. A lot of parents these days don’t even care that much.. sometimes you have to take something away from kids to make a big point. I was a really bad kid growing up myself, so I should know lol.
i read all this and think.. YOU NEVER WAS A TEENAGER?? smoke pot its better or less bad that you couth him smoking cigarrets… pot its like alcohol just less dangerous… thats it… sorry about my english i dont speak english.. so sell his guitar hero its go to make it worts hes gonna hate you or at least hes go to be very pissed off with you its better to say that YOU dont like him to smoke pot and thats it explain him why you think that WITH LOGICAL REASONS.. and i BET that his friends are not delicuent.. to their fathers are just than inocents as your son its for you !!
I’m also not saying I am against pot, but I sure do believe as a parent myself that my kids will not be smoking any while they are under my roof. If they want to move out when the grow up and smoke pot in their own place that they pay for, I wouldn’t complain.
Xboxlenny, you are truly clueless. The dad is not selling his son’s Guitar Hero 3 game. You see, it’s not his son’s until he gives it to him. It would have been the son’s game if he handn’t f’ed up repeatedly.
If you are so weak and spineless that taking away your Guitar Hero 3 game would make you rebel and smoke more pot, then you are a just a tool just waiting to be used.
Nice ideia but.. i think he will become angry and smoke all the pot in the world.. i would :O
Dear William,
Although I know what your son did was very serious, I think little will be learned by you selling his christmas present. Perhaps a heart to heart talk and other consequences. As a father who just lost his young son in an accident, I wish he were here with me so I could deal with his growing pains. Incidently,his birthday would have been the day after christmas. There is no tough love…..only love. I’m sure you love your son. So why drive a wedge between you and cause animosity when you may be able to find out what is troubling him? Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas.
apologies i should have posted that to Issac’s Dad
@parental loss: This isn’t something that happened to William. William is one of our writers, and he’s merely reporting on the fact that this happened, not that it happened to him.
@the topic in general: Parenting isn’t always about being friends with your kids. Sometimes you have to do things that make your kids, angry, upset or downright mad at you. However, these things aren’t done out of spite, but rather to teach them valuable lessons that help them in their life.
I’m glad to see that this father was willing to take this step, and then to let his son in on what he had done. Perhaps his son will learn that there are consequences to every action, and that the consequences of smoking pot include being deprived of things you really want. Maybe he’ll re-examine his choices and do better next time.
Better to lose Guitar Hero than to wind up in jail for possession in a year or two.
@ Fartacus
He is a teenager, he smokes pot, he will smoke it again, and the gift was for his son, no matter if he has it or not, dont be nit picking. if you buy a gift for a person, its theirs. ask any teenager taking that away, to sell it, ya its lame.
punish him, take away the Wii or what ever, but dont sell the damn thing, i dont care what idiot comments you say. it wont stop his son from smoking pot, if you think that it will, you are the one whos clueless and probaly dont have kids.
Good stuff — at least ONE person is actually parenting (and therefore doing something in the process to make people stop blaming everything on games themselves)…
Good going to this father — he better give his son a lesson and sell it…!!!
@ xboxlenny
From a psychological point of view, this could go one of two ways (I do psychology and all that jazz): Possibility numero uno is that he will indeed carry on taking pot in defiance of the action taken against him and this little cherade will have little effect; Possibility numero duex is that the action taken by the father will completely wake the child up and prevent them from repeating the action aagin, at laest under such circumstances.
I think this case lies firmly in the latter; considering the completely unsual action taken by the parent, I think it’ll shock the child a little bit and make them really wake up to what they have done.
As for your argument that the gift is then his…er, no, not at all. If you’re going by the traditional christmas exchange, the gift is not his until he has handled the product with the intention of the giver to not retrieve it; ie, it ain’t his till he opens the christmas wrapping. Before that time, the purchase was by the other person. The reciept is for the other person. It IS the other person’s item, to which they can later deem to give as a gift. Considering he had not (and wouldn’t have done for at least another 19 days) that argument is thus null and void.
The thing about asking teenagers about it is that most of them will probably argue against you. Teenagers know it’s wrong and will 95% + in cases agree with the parents action, even if it halmed them, with the most common response to have been “well he knew it was wrong and shouldn’t have done it and should therefore not deserve the gift”.
And as a very late reason; dude, it’s christmas. Don’t *(&”*(%&” off your parents! That’s reason enough.
You know, I wasn’t going to get into this at all, when I first read it: I only stumbled across it while trying to figure out what the HELL is wrong with LimeWire this morning… I found it linked on the Gnutella site. I was only trying to get some overdue downloads finished between work… but after reading the article(and the comments), I decided I had to put my two cents’ worth in here. I’m actually SHOCKED that I seem to be the MINORITY here. (Forgive me, I’m an italics junkie and alas, no formatting.) So I’ll offer my opinion, and please make sure you understand that my opinion is all that it is.
That being said: I think this is wrong on SO many levels.
Where to start? Well, the thing that keeps bothering me, over and over – the point that my mind keeps returning to the most – is this attitude that seems to absolutely pervade the comments here. “It’s not HIS gift until he touches and handles it with X intention of the giver”. The “recipient”, the “givee”, the receipt… pardon me, guys, but where the HELL is CHRISTMAS in all of that? I mean, for God’s sake. He’s fifteen.
OBVIOUSLY his father loves him(even though what I see here looks like less of an “Oh no, my beloved son is doing drugs that might mess up his life” and more of a “This is MY house and you won’t do this on MY property or you’ll be punished”, but maybe that’s just me). You shouldn’t have to EARN a Christmas gift, for the love of God. It’s ABOUT love. It’s ABOUT giving. It’s about making someone you care about really, really happy; letting them know THAT you love them and pay attention to what MAKES them happy. This father says he looked all over for it? Great! GIVE it to him.
If you read a story about someone, say, a teenage girl that wanted a puppy for Christmas, and her mother went out, picked her out the most beautiful little dog there ever was, got a monogrammed collar and then brought the dog home as a surprise, and then when the daughter – oh, I don’t know – breaks the living room window, the mother calls Animal Control and then brings the girl into the living room to watch as they take her dog away.
“Oh, well guess what, honey? I got you EXACTLY what you wanted… surprise! But guess what again? You were BAD and so you can’t HAVE it!! Ahahaha! This PROVES to you that I have the ultimate power here, I can take away anything I give you! So all Christmas long you’ll be thinking about the puppy you COULD have had, if you’d been on your best behavior! Although how you could have KNOWN that I’d stoop that low? Well! I’m your MOTHER!”
Okay. So smoking pot isn’t breaking a window. Don’t tell me that, I’m getting there. BUT THE GENERAL INTENTION IS THE SAME. You’re taking something that should be joyful and UNCONDITIONAL, and putting a punishment on it that will forever effect the way your son feels about the holiday… and you. I KNOW that human beings have gotten DISGUSTINGLY material, I KNOW that. It’s ALL about the loot, for most people. But even NOW, in the middle of all of this, you can keep the SPIRIT of it alive, at least.
Seriously. If it were you – and PLEASE don’t give me that “Well I’d be sad, sure, but I’d know it was for my own good” crap; you KNOW damn well you wouldn’t have thought that at 15 – wouldn’t you be HEARTBROKEN at your parent making you watch as some other person got the gift that your Daddy picked out ESPECIALLY for you? I guess that sure makes it easier for some OTHER kid’s Dad, eh? He doesn’t have to run all over town. Good for him. To me, this just seems really, needlessly cruel. “Watch the auction close as a bonding experience”… you’re JOKING, right? Teenagers are EXTREMELY volatile; and if you’re old enough to have one, you’re just a LITTLE too old to remember just quite EXACTLY what that feels like. Oh yeah, he’ll remember this… but not at all in the way you probably want him to.
And you’d do this, flaunt it in his face on CHRISTMAS – which, I do believe, is supposed to be about forgiveness and love, friendship and family(if I haven’t gotten it ALL wrong) – without so much as consulting him(yes, you ARE the parent, Mr. Authority, I get it. But discussing wrongdoing with your kid before making up an arbitrary punishment is at least a LITTLE progressive). Seriously. Did you ever tell him that “if you do something wrong/bad/I don’t approve of, you won’t get the present you want for Christmas”? Isn’t fifteen a little old to be teaching your son how to blackmail someone into the behavior you want by withholding things?
*sighs.* Yeah. Pot’s illegal. I also happen to know that there are a HELL of a lot of WORSE things he could be doing. Shooting meth. Snorting smack. Getting some twelve-year-old pregnant. These things would REALLY ruin his life… whereas most teenagers that smoke pot once or twice don’t make a LIFESTYLE out of it. But okay. You ABSOLUTELY are HORRIFIED and think he needs to be punished. Your absolute prerogative. Personally – and I didn’t even BELIEVE in it until a year ago – I’d SPANK my fifteen-year-old son before I’d get into using his Christmas gifts as a punishment. Way to color the holiday with trust! A spanking is done, it’s over, the price is paid, and everyone still loves each other at the end of the afternoon. No one goes upstairs and cries into their pillow.
*shrugs.* Ground him. Take away something else. Another commenter here said “Take away the Wii”. Why not? Give him the game and make him wait a matter of days before he can play it. But at least allow him to have the joy of the GIFT… not the humiliation of watching his father grin as some other kid takes his Christmas present right out from under his nose. God. That makes ME want to cry, and I’m thirty years old.
Or even better yet, try *gasp!* TALKING to your kid. Ask him WHY he’s smoking pot(and not at 3845139759 decibels, either. TALK to him). Ask him what he GETS out of it. For all you know, he’s not even INTO it… I see you now automatically assuming that everywhere he goes, he’s “smoking marijuana, probably”. Come ON.
If he has been, then who’s at fault? Him, or you for not seeing it until now, and NOW deciding to break him down with a heavy punishment for all the crimes you ASSUME he’s been committing? If you’re accused of MURDER they can’t do that. It amazes me sometimes what parents to to their children in the name of “tough love”, that a jury wouldn’t impose on a felon. *sighs.* I basically agree with the other commenter, there: there’s no tough love, only love. Talk to him. And if you feel he needs to be punished, then punish him. But don’t drag your love for him or his for you through the mud on Christmas, and make him wonder what ELSE is conditional on his behavior.
That is a GUARANTEED way, to lose him quicker.
*lifts a shoulder.* Opinion. That’s all. No one should have to “suck up” for Christmas. You give the gifts because you want to make someone else happy… not because they’ve succeeded in making YOU happy, to your specifications.
Jeez.
Merry Christmas.
Neo, get over yourself man. That high and mighty shit sounds good on paper, but most of us live in the real world, where it don’t work in practice. No one would think anything is wrong with this if it was on the kids Birthday, so whats different? Christmas? Bullshit. When a kid breaks your rules (not to mention the law) he/she is gonna get punished. End of story. Like the dad said, rewarding bad behavior begets more bad behavior, and we already have a bunch of punk ass teenagers out there that think they can get away with anything. Ever wonder why? Because of a lack of discipline. Simple as that. Being a good friend to your kid doesn’t make you a good parent to him or her.
Guitar Hero,
I’m a mom, to three boys, and I believe one of the greatest challenges parents face today is the ability (or lack there of) to teach children consequences. Natural consequences: You forgot your lunch money, you’ll be hungry when you get home from school. We want to be the Hero to them, to fix the situation. But this only enables their behavior and creates an irresponsible kid.
I love your auction idea! I might suggest to even take it one step further. Instead of waiting until the auction is over, have him “run” this auction and sell his own present…he’ll learn some business sense along the way and maybe the money made can go into an account for “sober” behavior later?
A great video is from Joe White at http://iquestions.com/video/view/221 regarding teaching teens responsibility. I’d highly recommend it – though I know you teach (amazing in and of itself) – you may find this video clip a refreshing resource.
Let me know what you think!
Rebecca
*eyebrow* #1: I DID state that it was only my opinion, what? Three times? Chill.
#2: My opinion isn’t any more “high and mighty” than you assuming yours is the “right one”. I don’t think there IS a right one. And hell yes, if it were my son’s birthday I wouldn’t do it either. Jesus. It’d make me feel like nothing short of a bastard. You can make all the condescending comments you want about “the real world”, but you know what? For some of us, it actually WORKS. Trying to figure out the reasons behind the behavior rather than simply crushing the rebellion under our heel ASAP.
There’s a guy out there making and selling handmade paddles, because he thinks that “loving discipline” beats ANY other form of punishment/consequences. He has pictures of his son on his website, and stories about how he used it on his kid. You think that kid likes it? Hates it? Does it matter? Not really. Everyone’s different. Some people would think that was disgusting and abusive. I’ve seen both sides of THAT debate. What you think is “the right thing” is only the right thing for you. Same with everyone. (Which is why I prefaced MY “right thing” with a disclaimer that I loathe: It is ONLY my opinion.)
“A bunch of punk ass teenagers” because “they have no discipline”. Yeah, sing it again, boys, we all know the words.
*sighs.*
Natural consequences is not a bad idea, although it’s a mite trendy just lately… but I still don’t see anything “natural” about waving it in his face on Christmas. Natural consequences of smoking pot? I wonder what those would actuslly logically BE. Hrm. Now I’m going to try and figure that out…
And that Neo is why i normally dont get involved with debates on issues like these. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, and they all stink.
Snort. Yeah, you’re preaching to the choir on that one. Ehhhh. But I just couldn’t pass this one up. *shrugs.* I just hate the thought of it.
Enh. What I would do is videotape the effects of smoking pot while playing Guitar Hero. Once he sees how sloppy and slow he is to respond whilst playing high, it will give him somewhat of a message about the effects of THC.
Short of tying them down in your home, you can’t stop any teenager from accessing something like weed. But what you can do is show the negative effets of it.
If I were that parent, I’d give the kid back his GH3 and just threaten him with no prospects of a car in the near future. If he wants a car, he has to get a part-time job and pay for it.
Then Steve, you’re endorsing the behaviour. You’re saying, that you know he’s done something wrong, but he’ll get something at the end of it. What at all does that teach?
And whoever said Neo wasn’t in the real world…Neo, I respect your opinions, but where the heck are you basing it from/on??
Personal experience on both ends… and I am, technically, an ordained minister as well.
*shrugs.*
While I agree 100% that the kid should not be smoking pot, the Father should not cause the kid to have a horrible Christmas memory to carry with him the rest of his life. Ground him, take away the Wii, the iPod, the iTunes, the tv, everything he enjoys along with time away from home with his buddies. Dangle the GH3 present in front of him on Christmas and promise him that when said grounding is over he can have it.
Or better yet, take the Wii and GH3 game – lock it in a closet and only allow him to play it WITH you until the grounding period is over with. Not only will he still be punished, you will be forming a stronger bond with your teenage son which is a hard thing to do at age 15. But he should not punish him via the eBay auction. He will never forget it, and while it sounds like a good punishment, in the years that follow all he will remember about it are the ugly feelings inside of him.
I remember one year at Christmas, I was 14 and had just gone through a huge growth spurt and not only grew taller but a bit curvier as well. I was given pants and a sweater for a present that year and they did not fit me. My father blew up at me, said I was a fatass, took the clothes away from me and refused to buy me any more clothes until I lost weight. Mind you I went from 5′6″ to 5′7 1/2″ that year and certain areas in the chest region grew as well (lol). Therefore, I was not fat, just taller and shaped more like a woman instead of a 10 year old boy. What sticks out in my mind, and it has every year since that happened (I am mid-30’s now) is the horrible feelings that prevailed the whole day at Christmas. Making me cry in front of the whole family, and degrading me by fixing my plate and not allowing me to eat what I wish only made me loathe him. I do no wish for this to happen to this kid.
Smoking pot may not be a good thing for a 15YO to do, but there are more constructive avenues of punishment without resorting to bitterness and borderline cruelty. It will only make him resentful instead of apologetic for his actions.
Stephany: EXACTLY. That is EXACTLY my opinion on it, as well.
Ye gods, I’m NOT the only one. Imagine that.
To qualify my statements here, let me just say that I have an education in psychology and neurology…
At first I agreed with the father. And I didn’t really care about the story other than for it’s novelty. But after browsing the comments, I have to say: I’m falling in behind Stepany and Neo here. I think There’s a bigger problem here than the pot and what the father is doing is only going to cause conflict and resentment.
Everyone want’s to see the boy get punished and make a miraculous turnaround in his life thanks to “good” parenting. But quite frankly hocking his christmas present on ebay is NOT going to have the desired results here. The kid needs love and attention something to build his self respect and sense of responsibility. Not the resentment and anger that a fathers righteous christmas revenge on his son will cause him.
Don’t do this.
With respect Stephany, the event is not the same. You hadn’t done anything wrong, this kid, Isaac, had. Okay, I’m not saying what happened to you should’ve happened, but this kid did something wrong, flat-out. Does he not deserve a punishment for doing wrong? Should he not learn from the conquences of his actions? Other than the ’scarring for life’ [of christmas] I can’t see where your point actually goes in relation to this one. Yes, making someone have a bad memory is obviously not good…but the kid should realise that that happening was his own doing.
People seem to be forgetting that it’s not about Guitar Hero 3. It could’ve been about anything. It could’ve been an i-pod, a Barbie doll, or anything else. Fact is, he did wrong, he’s being punished and it just so happened to be around christmas. Besides the fact you shouldn’t do anything to down-right piss-off your parents anyhow, this kid did it worse by doing it at a time where he’s going to be treated.
Let’s not forget this kid is an angel either and this is his first mistake. The father’s note clearly says hes done bad things in the past year. This isn’t the first mistake hes done and it seems that now was the breaking-point. He had done enough wrong.
Additionally, bitterness and cruelty? How d’ya think the parents feel? I’m sure they’re pretty bitter about having to do this and feel cruel, but then I think they think their kid has been cruel to them.
Again, I entirely endorse this guys plan. The kid shouldn’t have been doing it. This is the consequence he must face.
Hi Everyone!
This is Isaac’s father the author of this blog sent me the link to this website in a question in the ebay auction. I must say I am very flattered by the positive comments and I think that I stand by my decision. I don’t think it is the end of the world that he smoked some pot, but I refuse to reward his bad behavior. I am not concerned that he will be “scarred for life”.
I often think of my mother when I have to make parenting decisions. She was a school principal and was VERY stern with me (all tough LOVE of course). If I was caught doing something like smoking pot I would have received some very SERIOUS punishment (not getting my choice of xmas presents would have been the very least of my worries), and likely a smack to the head! I do not agree with hitting your children, but I do agree that stern discipline is essential to proper parenting. My mom used it on me, and I turned out just fine (I think!).
Thanks everyone for the very thoughtful comments. I really did not expect a response like this!
Take care
k_lid
what a shite dad
There is nothing wrong for a kid to smoke marijuana, if u want to be a good dad just ask your son why did he tried, and what that brings to him.
imo if his grades are not poor than there really is no reason to bring the hammer down.
I’m a parent of 2 girls, and I ever catch them smoking pot, you’re right, christmas presents will be the LEAST of their worries.
Yep. Sell the game. BUT – allow him to spend his allowance money to buy it back. In another room of your house (if you have 2 computers on the ‘net) or from another location, relentlessly bid against him in order to continuously put the gift out of his reach. Anonymously, of course.
Then when he can’t afford to buy it, say something like “If you’d spent more time working at your chores and saving your money instead of smoking POT, perhaps you COULD have gotten your Christmas present back.”
k_lid,
I’m a strict parent of teens, and I think this is an ASSHOLE thing to do. To him, it will look like you just want the last laugh. No teen is going to respond positively to that. You do want a POSITIVE response (e.g. he gets better), and not just to ‘win’ the argument, right? I hope.
My recommendation is NOT to give him the game, but don’t sell it in front of his face. Put it aside, and show him on xmas that you wanted to give it to him, but he hasn’t earned it, esp. given the hard work you do as a father. Then come up with some way that he can ‘earn’ the game from you, by some positive action (e.g. staying clean, extra chores, etc.).
I’m not trying to be critical. But these are the sort of tactics that cause kids to screw up in the first place. I try to parent PROACTIVELY instead of REACTIVELY, and my kids have become respectful young adults in the process.
you guys realize this is just the newest ebay scam.
ive seen dozens of these auctions just like this one(parents punishing kids/girlfriends punishing boyfriends). every item being sold sells for well over the original purchase price because the bidders are persuaded by the phony story and they feel like they are helping someone out.
I’m not posting with my name, mostly because I’d rather not have my boss stumble across this and get the wrong idea.
While I don’t have any problem with people who smoke pot, I do think it’s something that’s intended for people outside of high school. I experimented with it at the end of my senior year, and I’m glad I waited until then (and no I haven’t stopped).
I’m now a fairly successful adult. I have a college degree, and I’m a network admin for about 30 small businesses. I don’t abuse the drug, I rarely get “baked” except on weekends with friends, and I don’t drink or do any other drugs.
I suppose the idea here is to convince you that you should give him Guitar Hero 3 for X-mas, not that your can lead a normal life as a pot smoker, so let me change gears for a minute.
I agree with the general consensus that denying him the gift would probably not stop him from smoking, or maybe even encourage the opposite. I seriously hope you’re joking about the Barbie games, because the last thing you want to do is antagonize a teenager when you’re trying to get them to agree with you. Not to mention it’s a huge waste of money.
Let him know how much it bothers you. Be open, be honest, but don’t do something that’s only going to piss them off. If you give him the game, it will let him know that even with his mistakes you still care about him. I think that would make him much more likely to think twice next time he has the opportunity to get stoned.
I have to wonder.. why do people seem to think that this kid is doing wrong?
What, exactly, is so bad about smoking marajuana?
Quite often, around that age, teenagers begin to start feeling like adults and try to start acting like them. Drinking, smoking, etcetera starts to happen. Whilst the typical attitude is to punish and forbade, perhaps it would be better to instead teach your child about responsibility and consequences and other such things?
Your kid is going out drinking? Don’t up and punish and ban and threaten.. and don’t just TELL him what would happen, either. Help educate him on what it is he is doing to himself.
Be supportive. Be kind. They might be your child, yes. But at the same time, they are a person. An individual. They are not yours to CONTROL, merely to guide.
First, GHIII is not particularly hard to find.
Second, the Wii version is gimped anyway. It’s not worth buying until they get the music in stereo. Currently it’s only mono.
This is why you don’t smoke pot at your house until AFTER christmas
But seriously, though this was well intentioned by a parent who wants their kids to stop doing illegal activities, i think it will have a negative effect. The only real way to get your kid to stop smoking pot is to have an intervention or something.
Some great points here. I agree with Neos opinion on the matter. Perhaps do both… Set it up so a friend or you with a different account buys GH3 on the sly. If his behavior through the situation suitably humble, present it to him a little later, new years eve or something. Best solution? probably not.
another: give it to him, wrap it with a drug test kit (or just the kit). Once a week, test him for pot if he ever fails it, the whole wii goes for a month. Write up a contract to that effect.
In all, you are an inspiration as a parent just because you are involved and trying to find the best solution and you know yourself and your son better than any of us.
na dude, its cool
its just weed, not bad at all
tell him to chill on the weed and stay low
and enjoi
I don’t think I’d want to muddle Christmas with punishment. Yes, he should be punished for the bad behavior. But do the punishment on its own terms without bringing Christmas (at least directly) into it.
Give him the game you worked so hard to get. And let him know that he means enough to you to be worth all the retail hell you faced in the process.
And let him know that what he did was seriously wrong. Ground him. Yell. Take away privileges (sure, maybe even no Wii for a while).
But let both messages get across. Both your frustration, anger, and disappointment *and* your love for him and the holiday spirit.
I’m not exactly sure why you’re reporting what is apparently a creative form of advertising which is likely comprised by nothing but blatant lies.
Furthermore, in addition to teaching more effective use of one’s working memory, prudent Cannabis use is extremely safe and encourages social encounters and ideas.
you guys all care way too much about pot when there are so many worse drugs and situations out there.
@ stephany
that is a sad story you sing but what you must understand is that you had no decision in what happened to you before that christmas. this dumbass kid, on the other hand, chose to do something illegal and should suffer the consequences. I am 18 and my parents are not from this country and so ive suffered much worse than this on a daily basis, regardless of the time of year.
@ Neo
youre right. there are alternative punishments for instances like this but what do you think the kid is gonna think the next time he smokes? youre right, how miserable his christmas was cuz he was a dumbass for smoking.
k_lid has a point about not selling it in front of the kids face, that is kinda overboard
i dunno where im going with this
This is a terrible “punishment” because the kid never had it to begin with. He didn’t lose anything.
Yo, It’s really not a big deal.
Smoking marijuana is a way of life.
I mean, would you rather have caught your kid smoking meth/crack or weed?
I’m pretty sure I know your answer. As a teen, I know my surroundings and I know whats right and wrong. I’m not stupid with what I do. It’s our lives, and we know how to live it. I’m not saying that your a bad parent or anything for punishing him, but you should just put yourself in his shoes; talk about it with him. Ask him if thats the only thing he is doing, and try to be as understanding as you can be. Odds are he is just experimenting anyways, but make sure of it. My parents have talked to me about this before, and they are laid back about it. It doesn’t scare me to talk about these things with my parents because I know that they trust me with what I’m telling them. You have to trust your kid. Talk to him about it and absorb as much as possible. Also, relating to something similar that happened to you as a child wouldn’t be a bad idea.
After that short note…
Let your kid have his GH3 and his weed.
His choice is what he chooses to do, and if its causing no harm, it shouldn’t bother you.
Peace
I don’t think there is anything wrong with refusing to give him this gift since you found him breaking the law. But, if it were me, I would probably not rub it in his face by watching the auction with him. I think he just needs to receive the consequence (no game), and not the additional emotional consequence. If it were me, I’d simply not give him the gift, and then talk to him and explain to him simply that you’re disappointed. How you handle it from here on out is a different matter, and you might be better served by getting the advice of someone who is close to you, knowledgeable and more or less a sympathetic by wise person on these matters.
I would tell my son if he promised to quit smoking pot i would give him his GH3. Make him apologize and promise to never smoke it again. Make him sign a contract even. Then tell him if you ever catch him again, you will smash the stupid plastic guitar over his head.
The one thing I’d like to mention is that often if a kid is caught for doing something deemed “bad”, they just learn to do it more secretly. I know I did. If the child’s friends smoke weed, and also enjoys a puff, I seriously doubt “reform” unless the parents move.
I may be wrong. But often with matters relating to drugs it’ll happen whether the parents like it or not. Often condemning things like this creates a wedge of lies between the parents and the child. But how can parents not condemn it? It’s a catch 22.
So even if the parent sells the guitar don’t think it’ll mean the kid will stop smoking weed. It just means he’ll get better at hiding that he does and when his parents ask him about it he is forced to lie. And my god, please never go the route of “testing” him or making him get professional help. When I was in highschool I saw this happen to some kids I knew and it really ruined their relationship with their folks. I just lied when my parents asked and was relieved when I could eventually be level with them when I got older.
From my vantage point kids come in a couple of different types: assholes, jerks, good kids, and good kids with social dysfuctions. The issue is not whether they smoke pot it’s whether or not they are assholes, jerks, or good kids with social dysfunctions.
Lol, he got owned because of his own stupidity. Why smoke? Especially in your own house?
Dangle the Guitar Hero 3 in front of him, after 3 months of drug testing he can have it. (make him pee in a cup every week for 3 months and get it tested or send him in for a test) Or just tell him you will have a hair sample tested and have him start with a shaved head. Tell him he can call you anytime he is tempted by his friends. Give him the tools he needs and the incentive to succeed. I prefer positive re-inforcement.