Parent Sells Pot Smoking Teen's Guitar Hero III On eBay
Posted by William on Thursday, December 6th, 2007 at 10:23 am under Nintendo
Here’s the deal:
So I spent who knows how many hours of my life trying to get “Guitar Hero 3” for the Nintendo Wii for my 15 year old son who has been begging for it since he was born (well not really but he’s wanted it for awhile). So after waiting in lines and going into every game store in the city over the last 2 weeks (practically being laughed at when I asked for guitar hero 3) I finally got lucky and got one at EB Games (they just got a shipment of them 25 minutes before I walked in!).
So I was so relieved in that I had finally got the Holy Grail of Xmas presents pretty much just in the nick of time. I couldn’t wait to spread the jubilance to my son.
Then, yesterday, I came home from work early and what to I find? My innocent little boy smoking pot in the backyard with 2 of his delinquent friends.
Now I know santa applies the “naughty or nice” paradigm to determine who gets what on Christmas. My son (Isaac) hasn’t exactly been Mother Teresa this year (he got suspended for fighting in the spring, among other things) but I thought I could still justify getting him this present. Maybe it would make him stay home more and “rock out” on this fake guitar thing. He pretty much spends all his free time at his friend’s house playing it anyways (while high on marijuana, I would imagine).
Anyways, I am now finding it hard to justify rewarding him with this gift after he so greatly disappointed me. I know smoking a joint isn’t the end of the world, but if you can convince me that he deserves the gift, then I will end the auction. You will have to be very convincing. I am an elementary school teacher and I know that rewarding bad behavior is just asking for more of the same…
After I caught him getting high on my patio I did the typical yelling, screaming, kicking out the friends, etc… but I had not decided on a suitable way to punish him. As of the time of me writing this, he does not know I got him Guitar Hero 3. I will show him the auction once it is posted and we can watch it finish together. Sort of a “Father-Son bonding experience”. While I doubt this will keep him from ever smoking pot again, I think it will make him think twice before doing illegal (well I think pot is still illegal in Canada) drugs on my property.
I am still considering getting him a game for his Nintendo. Maybe something like Barbie as the Island Princess or Dancing With the Stars. These games are in stock everywhere I go, and I know he will just love them.
Merry Xmas Isaac. I hope you’ve learned your lesson. –Father.
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December 6th, 2007 at 10:27 am
That's absolutely brilliant and, as such, I give full credit for an actual parent out there. The delicious irony though of watching the auction close as a bonding excercise is fantastic and probably will be enough to dissuade the son. When he finds out…damn, I do not want to be him, but then again, I don't take illegal substances, so in that vain, I guess I have nothing to worry about there.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:30 am
Yeah.. I think it was a great parenting move. That's one father who cares.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:41 am
NO thats LOW. there is other ways to correct him than sell his guitar hero 3 game. That will make him smoke more pot. I know i sure would.
I think thats low to do that. How would you truly feel if your #1 gift u wanted was sold because of something you did wrong. I know it wouldnt help, it would make me more pissed and ya, then see how much pot ill smoke. pounds of it. it could even drive a person to start selling it.
I hate how people make such a big deal on the pot. Canada its pretty care free. If my son was caught smoking pot, id be angry for not sharing it with me. Selling his guitar hero 3 game, is looking for a rebellion. id be pissed off.
and all you parents out there dont critize me, you know how teenagers get, you know he will rebelling and gonna smoke more pot. all i can say is his dads not a hero for selling his sons Guitar Hero.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:43 am
I'm not saying he's a hero, but I do like that he's trying to teach his son a lesson. A lot of parents these days don't even care that much.. sometimes you have to take something away from kids to make a big point. I was a really bad kid growing up myself, so I should know lol.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:45 am
I'm also not saying I am against pot, but I sure do believe as a parent myself that my kids will not be smoking any while they are under my roof. If they want to move out when the grow up and smoke pot in their own place that they pay for, I wouldn't complain.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:56 am
Xboxlenny, you are truly clueless. The dad is not selling his son's Guitar Hero 3 game. You see, it's not his son's until he gives it to him. It would have been the son's game if he handn't f'ed up repeatedly.
If you are so weak and spineless that taking away your Guitar Hero 3 game would make you rebel and smoke more pot, then you are a just a tool just waiting to be used.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:58 am
Nice ideia but.. i think he will become angry and smoke all the pot in the world.. i would :O
December 6th, 2007 at 11:33 am
[...] Greg had some great ideas on this topic.You can read a snippet of the post here.Anyways, I am now finding it hard to justify rewarding him with this gift after he so greatly disappointed me. I know smoking a joint isn’t the end of the world, but if you can convince me that he deserves the gift, then I will end the … [...]
December 6th, 2007 at 11:58 am
Dear William,
Although I know what your son did was very serious, I think little will be learned by you selling his christmas present. Perhaps a heart to heart talk and other consequences. As a father who just lost his young son in an accident, I wish he were here with me so I could deal with his growing pains. Incidently,his birthday would have been the day after christmas. There is no tough love…..only love. I'm sure you love your son. So why drive a wedge between you and cause animosity when you may be able to find out what is troubling him? Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
apologies i should have posted that to Issac's Dad
December 6th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
[...] Read the rest of this great post here [...]
December 6th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
[...] Read the rest of this great post here [...]
December 6th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
[...] Read the rest of this great post here [...]
December 6th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
@parental loss: This isn't something that happened to William. William is one of our writers, and he's merely reporting on the fact that this happened, not that it happened to him.
@the topic in general: Parenting isn't always about being friends with your kids. Sometimes you have to do things that make your kids, angry, upset or downright mad at you. However, these things aren't done out of spite, but rather to teach them valuable lessons that help them in their life.
I'm glad to see that this father was willing to take this step, and then to let his son in on what he had done. Perhaps his son will learn that there are consequences to every action, and that the consequences of smoking pot include being deprived of things you really want. Maybe he'll re-examine his choices and do better next time.
Better to lose Guitar Hero than to wind up in jail for possession in a year or two.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
@ Fartacus
He is a teenager, he smokes pot, he will smoke it again, and the gift was for his son, no matter if he has it or not, dont be nit picking. if you buy a gift for a person, its theirs. ask any teenager taking that away, to sell it, ya its lame.
punish him, take away the Wii or what ever, but dont sell the damn thing, i dont care what idiot comments you say. it wont stop his son from smoking pot, if you think that it will, you are the one whos clueless and probaly dont have kids.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
Good stuff — at least ONE person is actually parenting (and therefore doing something in the process to make people stop blaming everything on games themselves)…
Good going to this father — he better give his son a lesson and sell it…!!!
December 6th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
@ xboxlenny
From a psychological point of view, this could go one of two ways (I do psychology and all that jazz): Possibility numero uno is that he will indeed carry on taking pot in defiance of the action taken against him and this little cherade will have little effect; Possibility numero duex is that the action taken by the father will completely wake the child up and prevent them from repeating the action aagin, at laest under such circumstances.
I think this case lies firmly in the latter; considering the completely unsual action taken by the parent, I think it'll shock the child a little bit and make them really wake up to what they have done.
As for your argument that the gift is then his…er, no, not at all. If you're going by the traditional christmas exchange, the gift is not his until he has handled the product with the intention of the giver to not retrieve it; ie, it ain't his till he opens the christmas wrapping. Before that time, the purchase was by the other person. The reciept is for the other person. It IS the other person's item, to which they can later deem to give as a gift. Considering he had not (and wouldn't have done for at least another 19 days) that argument is thus null and void.
The thing about asking teenagers about it is that most of them will probably argue against you. Teenagers know it's wrong and will 95% + in cases agree with the parents action, even if it halmed them, with the most common response to have been "well he knew it was wrong and shouldn't have done it and should therefore not deserve the gift".
And as a very late reason; dude, it's christmas. Don't *(&"*(%&" off your parents! That's reason enough.
December 6th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
You know, I wasn't going to get into this at all, when I first read it: I only stumbled across it while trying to figure out what the HELL is wrong with LimeWire this morning… I found it linked on the Gnutella site. I was only trying to get some overdue downloads finished between work… but after reading the article(and the comments), I decided I had to put my two cents' worth in here. I'm actually SHOCKED that I seem to be the MINORITY here. (Forgive me, I'm an italics junkie and alas, no formatting.) So I'll offer my opinion, and please make sure you understand that my opinion is all that it is.
That being said: I think this is wrong on SO many levels.
Where to start? Well, the thing that keeps bothering me, over and over - the point that my mind keeps returning to the most - is this attitude that seems to absolutely pervade the comments here. "It's not HIS gift until he touches and handles it with X intention of the giver". The "recipient", the "givee", the receipt… pardon me, guys, but where the HELL is CHRISTMAS in all of that? I mean, for God's sake. He's fifteen.
OBVIOUSLY his father loves him(even though what I see here looks like less of an "Oh no, my beloved son is doing drugs that might mess up his life" and more of a "This is MY house and you won't do this on MY property or you'll be punished", but maybe that's just me). You shouldn't have to EARN a Christmas gift, for the love of God. It's ABOUT love. It's ABOUT giving. It's about making someone you care about really, really happy; letting them know THAT you love them and pay attention to what MAKES them happy. This father says he looked all over for it? Great! GIVE it to him.
If you read a story about someone, say, a teenage girl that wanted a puppy for Christmas, and her mother went out, picked her out the most beautiful little dog there ever was, got a monogrammed collar and then brought the dog home as a surprise, and then when the daughter - oh, I don't know - breaks the living room window, the mother calls Animal Control and then brings the girl into the living room to watch as they take her dog away.
"Oh, well guess what, honey? I got you EXACTLY what you wanted… surprise! But guess what again? You were BAD and so you can't HAVE it!! Ahahaha! This PROVES to you that I have the ultimate power here, I can take away anything I give you! So all Christmas long you'll be thinking about the puppy you COULD have had, if you'd been on your best behavior! Although how you could have KNOWN that I'd stoop that low? Well! I'm your MOTHER!"
Okay. So smoking pot isn't breaking a window. Don't tell me that, I'm getting there. BUT THE GENERAL INTENTION IS THE SAME. You're taking something that should be joyful and UNCONDITIONAL, and putting a punishment on it that will forever effect the way your son feels about the holiday… and you. I KNOW that human beings have gotten DISGUSTINGLY material, I KNOW that. It's ALL about the loot, for most people. But even NOW, in the middle of all of this, you can keep the SPIRIT of it alive, at least.
Seriously. If it were you - and PLEASE don't give me that "Well I'd be sad, sure, but I'd know it was for my own good" crap; you KNOW damn well you wouldn't have thought that at 15 - wouldn't you be HEARTBROKEN at your parent making you watch as some other person got the gift that your Daddy picked out ESPECIALLY for you? I guess that sure makes it easier for some OTHER kid's Dad, eh? He doesn't have to run all over town. Good for him. To me, this just seems really, needlessly cruel. "Watch the auction close as a bonding experience"… you're JOKING, right? Teenagers are EXTREMELY volatile; and if you're old enough to have one, you're just a LITTLE too old to remember just quite EXACTLY what that feels like. Oh yeah, he'll remember this… but not at all in the way you probably want him to.
And you'd do this, flaunt it in his face on CHRISTMAS - which, I do believe, is supposed to be about forgiveness and love, friendship and family(if I haven't gotten it ALL wrong) - without so much as consulting him(yes, you ARE the parent, Mr. Authority, I get it. But discussing wrongdoing with your kid before making up an arbitrary punishment is at least a LITTLE progressive). Seriously. Did you ever tell him that "if you do something wrong/bad/I don't approve of, you won't get the present you want for Christmas"? Isn't fifteen a little old to be teaching your son how to blackmail someone into the behavior you want by withholding things?
*sighs.* Yeah. Pot's illegal. I also happen to know that there are a HELL of a lot of WORSE things he could be doing. Shooting meth. Snorting smack. Getting some twelve-year-old pregnant. These things would REALLY ruin his life… whereas most teenagers that smoke pot once or twice don't make a LIFESTYLE out of it. But okay. You ABSOLUTELY are HORRIFIED and think he needs to be punished. Your absolute prerogative. Personally - and I didn't even BELIEVE in it until a year ago - I'd SPANK my fifteen-year-old son before I'd get into using his Christmas gifts as a punishment. Way to color the holiday with trust! A spanking is done, it's over, the price is paid, and everyone still loves each other at the end of the afternoon. No one goes upstairs and cries into their pillow.
*shrugs.* Ground him. Take away something else. Another commenter here said "Take away the Wii". Why not? Give him the game and make him wait a matter of days before he can play it. But at least allow him to have the joy of the GIFT… not the humiliation of watching his father grin as some other kid takes his Christmas present right out from under his nose. God. That makes ME want to cry, and I'm thirty years old.
Or even better yet, try *gasp!* TALKING to your kid. Ask him WHY he's smoking pot(and not at 3845139759 decibels, either. TALK to him). Ask him what he GETS out of it. For all you know, he's not even INTO it… I see you now automatically assuming that everywhere he goes, he's "smoking marijuana, probably". Come ON.
If he has been, then who's at fault? Him, or you for not seeing it until now, and NOW deciding to break him down with a heavy punishment for all the crimes you ASSUME he's been committing? If you're accused of MURDER they can't do that. It amazes me sometimes what parents to to their children in the name of "tough love", that a jury wouldn't impose on a felon. *sighs.* I basically agree with the other commenter, there: there's no tough love, only love. Talk to him. And if you feel he needs to be punished, then punish him. But don't drag your love for him or his for you through the mud on Christmas, and make him wonder what ELSE is conditional on his behavior.
That is a GUARANTEED way, to lose him quicker.
*lifts a shoulder.* Opinion. That's all. No one should have to "suck up" for Christmas. You give the gifts because you want to make someone else happy… not because they've succeeded in making YOU happy, to your specifications.
Jeez.
Merry Christmas.
December 6th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
[...] Read the rest of this great post here [...]
December 6th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Neo, get over yourself man. That high and mighty shit sounds good on paper, but most of us live in the real world, where it don't work in practice. No one would think anything is wrong with this if it was on the kids Birthday, so whats different? Christmas? Bullshit. When a kid breaks your rules (not to mention the law) he/she is gonna get punished. End of story. Like the dad said, rewarding bad behavior begets more bad behavior, and we already have a bunch of punk ass teenagers out there that think they can get away with anything. Ever wonder why? Because of a lack of discipline. Simple as that. Being a good friend to your kid doesn't make you a good parent to him or her.
December 6th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Guitar Hero,
I'm a mom, to three boys, and I believe one of the greatest challenges parents face today is the ability (or lack there of) to teach children consequences. Natural consequences: You forgot your lunch money, you'll be hungry when you get home from school. We want to be the Hero to them, to fix the situation. But this only enables their behavior and creates an irresponsible kid.
I love your auction idea! I might suggest to even take it one step further. Instead of waiting until the auction is over, have him "run" this auction and sell his own present…he'll learn some business sense along the way and maybe the money made can go into an account for "sober" behavior later?
A great video is from Joe White at http://iquestions.com/video/view/221 regarding teaching teens responsibility. I'd highly recommend it - though I know you teach (amazing in and of itself) - you may find this video clip a refreshing resource.
Let me know what you think!
Rebecca
December 6th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
*eyebrow* #1: I DID state that it was only my opinion, what? Three times? Chill.
#2: My opinion isn't any more "high and mighty" than you assuming yours is the "right one". I don't think there IS a right one. And hell yes, if it were my son's birthday I wouldn't do it either. Jesus. It'd make me feel like nothing short of a bastard. You can make all the condescending comments you want about "the real world", but you know what? For some of us, it actually WORKS. Trying to figure out the reasons behind the behavior rather than simply crushing the rebellion under our heel ASAP.
There's a guy out there making and selling handmade paddles, because he thinks that "loving discipline" beats ANY other form of punishment/consequences. He has pictures of his son on his website, and stories about how he used it on his kid. You think that kid likes it? Hates it? Does it matter? Not really. Everyone's different. Some people would think that was disgusting and abusive. I've seen both sides of THAT debate. What you think is "the right thing" is only the right thing for you. Same with everyone. (Which is why I prefaced MY "right thing" with a disclaimer that I loathe: It is ONLY my opinion.)
"A bunch of punk ass teenagers" because "they have no discipline". Yeah, sing it again, boys, we all know the words.
*sighs.*
Natural consequences is not a bad idea, although it's a mite trendy just lately… but I still don't see anything "natural" about waving it in his face on Christmas. Natural consequences of smoking pot? I wonder what those would actuslly logically BE. Hrm. Now I'm going to try and figure that out…
December 6th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
And that Neo is why i normally dont get involved with debates on issues like these. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, and they all stink.
December 6th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Snort. Yeah, you're preaching to the choir on that one. Ehhhh. But I just couldn't pass this one up. *shrugs.* I just hate the thought of it.
December 6th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Enh. What I would do is videotape the effects of smoking pot while playing Guitar Hero. Once he sees how sloppy and slow he is to respond whilst playing high, it will give him somewhat of a message about the effects of THC.
Short of tying them down in your home, you can't stop any teenager from accessing something like weed. But what you can do is show the negative effets of it.
If I were that parent, I'd give the kid back his GH3 and just threaten him with no prospects of a car in the near future. If he wants a car, he has to get a part-time job and pay for it.
December 6th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Then Steve, you're endorsing the behaviour. You're saying, that you know he's done something wrong, but he'll get something at the end of it. What at all does that teach?
And whoever said Neo wasn't in the real world…Neo, I respect your opinions, but where the heck are you basing it from/on??
December 6th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Personal experience on both ends… and I am, technically, an ordained minister as well.
*shrugs.*
December 6th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
While I agree 100% that the kid should not be smoking pot, the Father should not cause the kid to have a horrible Christmas memory to carry with him the rest of his life. Ground him, take away the Wii, the iPod, the iTunes, the tv, everything he enjoys along with time away from home with his buddies. Dangle the GH3 present in front of him on Christmas and promise him that when said grounding is over he can have it.
Or better yet, take the Wii and GH3 game - lock it in a closet and only allow him to play it WITH you until the grounding period is over with. Not only will he still be punished, you will be forming a stronger bond with your teenage son which is a hard thing to do at age 15. But he should not punish him via the eBay auction. He will never forget it, and while it sounds like a good punishment, in the years that follow all he will remember about it are the ugly feelings inside of him.
I remember one year at Christmas, I was 14 and had just gone through a huge growth spurt and not only grew taller but a bit curvier as well. I was given pants and a sweater for a present that year and they did not fit me. My father blew up at me, said I was a fatass, took the clothes away from me and refused to buy me any more clothes until I lost weight. Mind you I went from 5'6" to 5'7 1/2" that year and certain areas in the chest region grew as well (lol). Therefore, I was not fat, just taller and shaped more like a woman instead of a 10 year old boy. What sticks out in my mind, and it has every year since that happened (I am mid-30's now) is the horrible feelings that prevailed the whole day at Christmas. Making me cry in front of the whole family, and degrading me by fixing my plate and not allowing me to eat what I wish only made me loathe him. I do no wish for this to happen to this kid.
Smoking pot may not be a good thing for a 15YO to do, but there are more constructive avenues of punishment without resorting to bitterness and borderline cruelty. It will only make him resentful instead of apologetic for his actions.
December 6th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Stephany: EXACTLY. That is EXACTLY my opinion on it, as well.
Ye gods, I'm NOT the only one. Imagine that.
December 6th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
To qualify my statements here, let me just say that I have an education in psychology and neurology…
At first I agreed with the father. And I didn't really care about the story other than for it's novelty. But after browsing the comments, I have to say: I'm falling in behind Stepany and Neo here. I think There's a bigger problem here than the pot and what the father is doing is only going to cause conflict and resentment.
Everyone want's to see the boy get punished and make a miraculous turnaround in his life thanks to "good" parenting. But quite frankly hocking his christmas present on ebay is NOT going to have the desired results here. The kid needs love and attention something to build his self respect and sense of responsibility. Not the resentment and anger that a fathers righteous christmas revenge on his son will cause him.
Don't do this.
December 6th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
With respect Stephany, the event is not the same. You hadn't done anything wrong, this kid, Isaac, had. Okay, I'm not saying what happened to you should've happened, but this kid did something wrong, flat-out. Does he not deserve a punishment for doing wrong? Should he not learn from the conquences of his actions? Other than the 'scarring for life' [of christmas] I can't see where your point actually goes in relation to this one. Yes, making someone have a bad memory is obviously not good…but the kid should realise that that happening was his own doing.
People seem to be forgetting that it's not about Guitar Hero 3. It could've been about anything. It could've been an i-pod, a Barbie doll, or anything else. Fact is, he did wrong, he's being punished and it just so happened to be around christmas. Besides the fact you shouldn't do anything to down-right piss-off your parents anyhow, this kid did it worse by doing it at a time where he's going to be treated.
Let's not forget this kid is an angel either and this is his first mistake. The father's note clearly says hes done bad things in the past year. This isn't the first mistake hes done and it seems that now was the breaking-point. He had done enough wrong.
Additionally, bitterness and cruelty? How d'ya think the parents feel? I'm sure they're pretty bitter about having to do this and feel cruel, but then I think they think their kid has been cruel to them.
Again, I entirely endorse this guys plan. The kid shouldn't have been doing it. This is the consequence he must face.
December 6th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Hi Everyone!
This is Isaac's father the author of this blog sent me the link to this website in a question in the ebay auction. I must say I am very flattered by the positive comments and I think that I stand by my decision. I don't think it is the end of the world that he smoked some pot, but I refuse to reward his bad behavior. I am not concerned that he will be "scarred for life".
I often think of my mother when I have to make parenting decisions. She was a school principal and was VERY stern with me (all tough LOVE of course). If I was caught doing something like smoking pot I would have received some very SERIOUS punishment (not getting my choice of xmas presents would have been the very least of my worries), and likely a smack to the head! I do not agree with hitting your children, but I do agree that stern discipline is essential to proper parenting. My mom used it on me, and I turned out just fine (I think!).
Thanks everyone for the very thoughtful comments. I really did not expect a response like this!
Take care
k_lid
December 6th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
what a shite dad
December 6th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
There is nothing wrong for a kid to smoke marijuana, if u want to be a good dad just ask your son why did he tried, and what that brings to him.
December 6th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
imo if his grades are not poor than there really is no reason to bring the hammer down.
December 6th, 2007 at 7:45 pm
I'm a parent of 2 girls, and I ever catch them smoking pot, you're right, christmas presents will be the LEAST of their worries.
Yep. Sell the game. BUT - allow him to spend his allowance money to buy it back. In another room of your house (if you have 2 computers on the 'net) or from another location, relentlessly bid against him in order to continuously put the gift out of his reach. Anonymously, of course.
Then when he can't afford to buy it, say something like "If you'd spent more time working at your chores and saving your money instead of smoking POT, perhaps you COULD have gotten your Christmas present back."
December 6th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
k_lid,
I'm a strict parent of teens, and I think this is an ASSHOLE thing to do. To him, it will look like you just want the last laugh. No teen is going to respond positively to that. You do want a POSITIVE response (e.g. he gets better), and not just to 'win' the argument, right? I hope.
My recommendation is NOT to give him the game, but don't sell it in front of his face. Put it aside, and show him on xmas that you wanted to give it to him, but he hasn't earned it, esp. given the hard work you do as a father. Then come up with some way that he can 'earn' the game from you, by some positive action (e.g. staying clean, extra chores, etc.).
I'm not trying to be critical. But these are the sort of tactics that cause kids to screw up in the first place. I try to parent PROACTIVELY instead of REACTIVELY, and my kids have become respectful young adults in the process.
December 6th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
you guys realize this is just the newest ebay scam.
ive seen dozens of these auctions just like this one(parents punishing kids/girlfriends punishing boyfriends). every item being sold sells for well over the original purchase price because the bidders are persuaded by the phony story and they feel like they are helping someone out.
December 6th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
I'm not posting with my name, mostly because I'd rather not have my boss stumble across this and get the wrong idea.
While I don't have any problem with people who smoke pot, I do think it's something that's intended for people outside of high school. I experimented with it at the end of my senior year, and I'm glad I waited until then (and no I haven't stopped).
I'm now a fairly successful adult. I have a college degree, and I'm a network admin for about 30 small businesses. I don't abuse the drug, I rarely get "baked" except on weekends with friends, and I don't drink or do any other drugs.
I suppose the idea here is to convince you that you should give him Guitar Hero 3 for X-mas, not that your can lead a normal life as a pot smoker, so let me change gears for a minute.
I agree with the general consensus that denying him the gift would probably not stop him from smoking, or maybe even encourage the opposite. I seriously hope you're joking about the Barbie games, because the last thing you want to do is antagonize a teenager when you're trying to get them to agree with you. Not to mention it's a huge waste of money.
Let him know how much it bothers you. Be open, be honest, but don't do something that's only going to piss them off. If you give him the game, it will let him know that even with his mistakes you still care about him. I think that would make him much more likely to think twice next time he has the opportunity to get stoned.
December 6th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
I have to wonder.. why do people seem to think that this kid is doing wrong?
What, exactly, is so bad about smoking marajuana?
Quite often, around that age, teenagers begin to start feeling like adults and try to start acting like them. Drinking, smoking, etcetera starts to happen. Whilst the typical attitude is to punish and forbade, perhaps it would be better to instead teach your child about responsibility and consequences and other such things?
Your kid is going out drinking? Don't up and punish and ban and threaten.. and don't just TELL him what would happen, either. Help educate him on what it is he is doing to himself.
Be supportive. Be kind. They might be your child, yes. But at the same time, they are a person. An individual. They are not yours to CONTROL, merely to guide.
December 6th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
First, GHIII is not particularly hard to find.
Second, the Wii version is gimped anyway. It's not worth buying until they get the music in stereo. Currently it's only mono.
December 6th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
This is why you don't smoke pot at your house until AFTER christmas
But seriously, though this was well intentioned by a parent who wants their kids to stop doing illegal activities, i think it will have a negative effect. The only real way to get your kid to stop smoking pot is to have an intervention or something.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Some great points here. I agree with Neos opinion on the matter. Perhaps do both… Set it up so a friend or you with a different account buys GH3 on the sly. If his behavior through the situation suitably humble, present it to him a little later, new years eve or something. Best solution? probably not.
another: give it to him, wrap it with a drug test kit (or just the kit). Once a week, test him for pot if he ever fails it, the whole wii goes for a month. Write up a contract to that effect.
In all, you are an inspiration as a parent just because you are involved and trying to find the best solution and you know yourself and your son better than any of us.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:02 pm
na dude, its cool
its just weed, not bad at all
tell him to chill on the weed and stay low
and enjoi
December 6th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
I don't think I'd want to muddle Christmas with punishment. Yes, he should be punished for the bad behavior. But do the punishment on its own terms without bringing Christmas (at least directly) into it.
Give him the game you worked so hard to get. And let him know that he means enough to you to be worth all the retail hell you faced in the process.
And let him know that what he did was seriously wrong. Ground him. Yell. Take away privileges (sure, maybe even no Wii for a while).
But let both messages get across. Both your frustration, anger, and disappointment *and* your love for him and the holiday spirit.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
I'm not exactly sure why you're reporting what is apparently a creative form of advertising which is likely comprised by nothing but blatant lies.
Furthermore, in addition to teaching more effective use of one's working memory, prudent Cannabis use is extremely safe and encourages social encounters and ideas.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
you guys all care way too much about pot when there are so many worse drugs and situations out there.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:10 pm
@ stephany
that is a sad story you sing but what you must understand is that you had no decision in what happened to you before that christmas. this dumbass kid, on the other hand, chose to do something illegal and should suffer the consequences. I am 18 and my parents are not from this country and so ive suffered much worse than this on a daily basis, regardless of the time of year.
@ Neo
youre right. there are alternative punishments for instances like this but what do you think the kid is gonna think the next time he smokes? youre right, how miserable his christmas was cuz he was a dumbass for smoking.
k_lid has a point about not selling it in front of the kids face, that is kinda overboard
i dunno where im going with this
December 6th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
This is a terrible "punishment" because the kid never had it to begin with. He didn't lose anything.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
Yo, It's really not a big deal.
Smoking marijuana is a way of life.
I mean, would you rather have caught your kid smoking meth/crack or weed?
I'm pretty sure I know your answer. As a teen, I know my surroundings and I know whats right and wrong. I'm not stupid with what I do. It's our lives, and we know how to live it. I'm not saying that your a bad parent or anything for punishing him, but you should just put yourself in his shoes; talk about it with him. Ask him if thats the only thing he is doing, and try to be as understanding as you can be. Odds are he is just experimenting anyways, but make sure of it. My parents have talked to me about this before, and they are laid back about it. It doesn't scare me to talk about these things with my parents because I know that they trust me with what I'm telling them. You have to trust your kid. Talk to him about it and absorb as much as possible. Also, relating to something similar that happened to you as a child wouldn't be a bad idea.
After that short note…
Let your kid have his GH3 and his weed.
His choice is what he chooses to do, and if its causing no harm, it shouldn't bother you.
Peace
December 6th, 2007 at 8:13 pm
I don't think there is anything wrong with refusing to give him this gift since you found him breaking the law. But, if it were me, I would probably not rub it in his face by watching the auction with him. I think he just needs to receive the consequence (no game), and not the additional emotional consequence. If it were me, I'd simply not give him the gift, and then talk to him and explain to him simply that you're disappointed. How you handle it from here on out is a different matter, and you might be better served by getting the advice of someone who is close to you, knowledgeable and more or less a sympathetic by wise person on these matters.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
I would tell my son if he promised to quit smoking pot i would give him his GH3. Make him apologize and promise to never smoke it again. Make him sign a contract even. Then tell him if you ever catch him again, you will smash the stupid plastic guitar over his head.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
The one thing I'd like to mention is that often if a kid is caught for doing something deemed "bad", they just learn to do it more secretly. I know I did. If the child's friends smoke weed, and also enjoys a puff, I seriously doubt "reform" unless the parents move.
I may be wrong. But often with matters relating to drugs it'll happen whether the parents like it or not. Often condemning things like this creates a wedge of lies between the parents and the child. But how can parents not condemn it? It's a catch 22.
So even if the parent sells the guitar don't think it'll mean the kid will stop smoking weed. It just means he'll get better at hiding that he does and when his parents ask him about it he is forced to lie. And my god, please never go the route of "testing" him or making him get professional help. When I was in highschool I saw this happen to some kids I knew and it really ruined their relationship with their folks. I just lied when my parents asked and was relieved when I could eventually be level with them when I got older.
From my vantage point kids come in a couple of different types: assholes, jerks, good kids, and good kids with social dysfuctions. The issue is not whether they smoke pot it's whether or not they are assholes, jerks, or good kids with social dysfunctions.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
Lol, he got owned because of his own stupidity. Why smoke? Especially in your own house?
December 6th, 2007 at 8:22 pm
Dangle the Guitar Hero 3 in front of him, after 3 months of drug testing he can have it. (make him pee in a cup every week for 3 months and get it tested or send him in for a test) Or just tell him you will have a hair sample tested and have him start with a shaved head. Tell him he can call you anytime he is tempted by his friends. Give him the tools he needs and the incentive to succeed. I prefer positive re-inforcement.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
WHAT IS SO HORRIBLE WITH SMOKING MARIJUANA? WHY DO YOU THINK THE KID IS SMOKING IT? MAYBE YOUR LACK OF PARENTING IS FORCING HIM TO SEEK REFUGE FROM YOU.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:32 pm
Dear Parents,
Punishment is a "great" idea for teaching your child a lesson. Make sure you beat them excessivly and cause as much pain as possible. After all is done be sure to not let them out of the house for atleast a year and drug test them daily.
Good Luck,
Jon
December 6th, 2007 at 8:33 pm
I think that what k_lid has chosen to do is the sign of a responsible parent who cares for the well-being and future of his child. Although, putting the item up on eBay is more than a punch in the face to the child but it ruins the spirit of the holidays to the family. First, you ruined the surprise for the kid and second, the kid is really pissed that his item is being sold. He doesn't understand WHY smoking pot is wrong. You have to talk to him and make him understand that it is an illegal substance that could lead to jail time.
On a happier note, this is a great way to get more bids for the item and the father could possibly be teaching his son to respect the household rules more and gain some profit for hunting all over the city for the game.
Does the kid even deserve the game after causing mayhem the past year?
Anyway, he's only 15 and experimenting, thus you must talk to him. Take down the item, wait till New Years and give it to him as a New Years present or better yet, wait till his sixteenth birthday and give it too him. By then he'll probably have played it at his friend's house and have gotten sick of it, THEN you could put it back on eBay.
And also, keep an eye on those friends of his…
(**I think I might be contradicting myself somewhere in here**))
December 6th, 2007 at 8:33 pm
Here's what I would do(16 year old perspective)
Sell the game. Chances are you will make more money on ebay than what you bought it for originally. Tell your son what you did and show him the money you made from the sale. Then tell him the money is his, but only if he earns it. He can earn the money through the normal teenage stuff(good grades, chores, etc) and eventually buy the game himself while making a bit more money in the process.
And for practice, buy him guitar hero 2 or something if you have a system that plays it.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
So according to this article, the kid sounds like he has the typical American youth personality of "I'm a badass, I smoke Pot, I don't really care about school, etc. etc." So what justifies the dad in the first place for even buying Guitar Hero for his innocent little boy anyway? Nice parenting there, no wonder the kid smokes pot. You can punish your son by getting him off his ass and trying to do a little better in school (I'm gonna go off on a limb here and say he probably doesn't do so well in that area of life due to his 'Mother Teresa' analogy) and by returning GH3 to the store. It's not necessary for you to sell it on eBay, post your story over the Internet about what a exceptional parent you are, and then shove it in your son's face and say "hah". That's a great way for him to act even worse, or better yet your son steals a guitar hero controller and smashes your head in with it, and then Jack Thompson gets to declare that "Guitar Hero kills people".
Sorry I kind of forgot where I was headed with that Jack Thompson thing. In conclusion, this is a great example of America's youth and parenting stupidity.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:36 pm
The guy should just keep it and not let the kid touch if till March or so, and in that time drug test him. That will keep him straight. Pot is fun, oh God is it fun, but it is not appropriate to a 15 year old when brain damage is possible. Selling it will only make him extraordinarily pissed and cause him to rebel more.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
i think it all comes down to how much does the parent actually know his/her kid and how mature he is, "i smoke pot" and im not a junkie, i dont spend my life high, i get things done and go to school. my mom once found me getting high as hell and as upset as she was she never said oh you cant do this or punished me because she knows that kind of stuff just doesnt work with me and all she would've gained with that was me getting upset at her, instead she just said; its your life and i hope you do the best for youself and keep in mind that you can get in serious legal trouble by having this stuff on you. 5 years later, here i am a respectable citizen who smokes pot. it all comes down to what kind of person you are and weather you have the will to push through in life and not become a drug addict, i guess it works for some people but certainly not for everyone…
just my two cents.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Here is my two cents:
As a 15 year old who has smoked pot and who has gone through the parent-child talk, I can honestly say taking away your son's present is a bad idea. First off, your son already feels bad about it, as did I when my dad found out. However, adding insult to injuring is no way of getting your son to quit. When my father had a chat with me he understood the general life of being a teenager. YES, your son smoked and YES he will probably try it again. This is the life of a teenager. As a parent, you need to understand that a lot of teenagers try things out of curiosity. If your goal is to lead your teenagers life as isolated as possible then YES, he should be punished for trying something that a HUGE portion of teenagers try. However, if you're going to be a father figure that your son feels he can turn to, you should keep the gift. By doing so, your son will feel that you see eye to eye with him and he'll better understand your worry and will respect you a lot more. Maybe instead of taking away his Christmas gift, you should have a calm talk and discuss both of your views. It tends to work out A LOT better in the end.
Anyways that's just my two cents…
Sincerly,
Kai
December 6th, 2007 at 8:40 pm
and as rachel sort of pointed out, it is better to smoke pot after you've gone through puberty, that way you dont stun your physical development, it is a real possibility.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:43 pm
so what. i smoke pot with my dad. its great. he is a responsible man. i respect him and his house. I turned out ok. Im graduated university in 4 years.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:44 pm
While perhaps there is nothing morally wrong with smoking weed, it is illegal, and can get you thrown in jail. Beyond that, it can get the parents in trouble criminally as well if it is happening in their house. Additionally, people who get baked tend to get lazy, and when they get lazy they fall short of their potential.
If you're a good parent, you'll want your kid to achieve his potential. Unless your child's goal is to be a bohemian poet, you should discourage him from smoking weed (heh).
Now, as far as people complaining about traumatizing the kid with respect to Christmas, have people forgotten that it's a Christmas tradition for bad kids to get coal? Not giving a kid Guitar Hero III, but giving him coal instead, is complete win and merely continuing the complete tradition of Christmas.
Furthermore, it sickens me to see all the people here complaining about how not giving the kid will traumatize him, as if it's your right to receive Christmas presents. Christmas is supposed to be about being with family and celebrating the birth of Christ, not some materialistic bullshit. Oh noes, I didn't get Guitar Hero III, and THAT'S THE WHOLE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS!!
How shallow we are as a society, gosh.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:45 pm
upon reading the inadvertant typo in my comment, i must take back my comment. down with dope!
December 6th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
It shouldn't matter what anybodies personal opinion on marijuana is. It is AGAINST THE LAW. That should be enough. What you think about the law doesn't matter, as it is the law. And trust me, if I had a son who was breaking the law they would get a punishment much worse than this.
I applaud you for this. Humans can easily be conditioned, and by doing this your teen will understand that smoking pot means consequences.
As another person put it, you are not there to be a child's friend, but to be their parent. They'll thank you for it later.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Consider for a moment what will happen if this backfires.
Think for a moment what you would do if you were publicly humiliated like this.
Resentment and vindictiveness can run deep; I sincerely hope the father understands how he may be affecting his son from this point out.
To the father: I really, really hope you know what you're doing, because you may be starting the snowball rolling down the mountain with this very action.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
I think all this "aww he'll be scarred for life" stuff is fairly misguided. Isn't the POINT that he'll have massive negative reinforcement linked to his actions?
Far too few teenagers seem to learn that their actions have consequences.
You screw up and get caught, bad things happen. Welcome to the real world.
It's not like his child is eight years old either, he's in his mid-teens, time to start accepting responsibility.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
I agree - GHIII for the Wii sucks. Don't waste your money.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:49 pm
upon reading kyles comment, I think he should smoke some pot and chill out. anyone who has to abuse caps lock to communicate his screaming through a blog about an issue involving strangers probably could receive some utilty from a joint.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
I think the son will learn a very valuable lesson from this.
"Drive around and smoke pot in my car, instead in a setting such as my home, to avoid consequences."
December 6th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
[...] Sells Pot Smoking Teen's Guitar Hero III On eBay Shamelessly ripped from filefront news. I came across an interesting eBay auction today where a parent was selling their son?s Guitar [...]
December 6th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
BLAZE ONE!
December 6th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
Marijuana is not a drug, get that through your fucking head
December 6th, 2007 at 9:05 pm
Yes your son screwed up…but you spent all of that time hunting this game down. Don't punish yourself. Give him the game for Christmas…but take his Wii for a month or two.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
This is brilliant. The kid needs to learn that there are consequences to breaking the law. I agree with Kyle Goetz, nobody DESERVES anything on Christmas. You're entitled to exactly NOTHING. The spirit of Christmas is to be with family and love one another, but its been twisted by greed to be the holiday of over-consumption and materialism. This kid will be fine. His relationship with his dad will be fine. He will learn a lesson (though he may not take anything away from that lesson) and life will go on. Does he deserve the game? No. Should he be damn thankful that the ONLY thing that happened to him was he lost his game? Hell yes.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
Regardless of how you may feel about smoking pot, legal or not… The fact remains that at 15 years of age, he should not be smoking anything!!! The proper response would of been finding a way make him actually feel guilty for doing so(either by breaking your trust, or damaging his body before he fully understood how he was doing it), and selling something he wanted will not bring feelings of guilt for sure(especially a Christmas gift, and most especially to a 15 y/o boy). Men don't FULLY finish puberty until their early 20's, taking something into your body before that point on a regular basis WILL mess up your bodies chemistry. After your body is done developing, turn your closets into grow rooms and smoke out the neighbors for all it matters!
December 6th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
So, Dad bought the gift and is selling it on ebay rather than returning it? Sounds like a scam to make profit to me.
I was raised to have the punishment fit the crime. My brother snuck out once, and was grounded from driving for 6 months. Your son smoked pot? Does he do it while he's playing his Wii? If so, ground him from it for however long you see fit. If not, ground him from leaving the house to hang out with his hooligan friends. Don't sell his Christmas present right in front of him.
I promise, he's not going to think you're rewarding his behavior by not spoiling his Christmas.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
And to all of you who think pot is soooo bad because it's against the law… In middle eastern countries, women are beaten to death for not covering properly in public, and it's the law. The law is subjective and unless you understand the subject, STFU you ignorant moron! 40% of prison inmates are in jail being brutalized(going from innocent to gang wanna be) in the united states over something as simple as smoking a plant that grows in nature and, believe it or not, the simple act of smoking it hurts no one other than the person who is doing the smoking(unless your sitting next to the smoker you leech… roll your own!). If you want to get up on a high horse about whats right and wrong in society, go after the a-holes who kill innocent people with alcohol, coke, meth, or any other drug WORTH bitching about.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
Flamekebab: The problem with the "negative reinforcement linked to his actions" plan is that the negative reinforcement will most likely backfire and a snowball effect will occur: the kid will start smoking pot or worse in secret, potentially leading to horrible lessons and life experiences in the future.
The best approach is to give the game to the child, but tell him he can't play it until he has completed, say, two weeks of doing his chores without complaining and without being asked. Don't make your kids fear you; teach them that mistakes can be made whole again as long as you're willing to work through it and compromise.
Kids learn best from trial and error - he made an error, so now let him try to redeem his actions.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
@neo- well considering christmas is a christian holiday, i think the people that partake in it should at least be trying to be good christians….last time i checked smoking pot and defying your parents was not in the bible
December 6th, 2007 at 9:30 pm
To the people who don't think this will NEVER work… It can. My parents did something similar to me, and I haven't smoked pot since.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
you guys are all retarted. thats the problem with society today is that nobody lets their kids smoke. it does nothing bad. it has been proven to slow cancer groth cells, increace vision, help with glaucoma, it has no tar or anything like that, and it comes from the ground. the fact that yall are ignorant is the problem.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
@Alex
Then you're just in that small percentage that it would actually work on…
SUCKER!
December 6th, 2007 at 9:36 pm
Ok…
1. The majority of resolves here are entirely opinionistic and are unjustified. Unjustified in that they are based entirely off of what the comment-ers think they know about Isaac's son. He is Isaac's son after all, and none of you know him personally, so who are you to justify what he should be doing to punish or not punish his son. I'm surprised, even at the more intelligent and reasonable comments, that this hasn't been thought through.
2. There is still yet a valid reason why the father shouldn't sell the game.
3. It's obvious the majority of the people here are ignorant of the big picture of the idea, being that, the game is and object of which his son will potentially enjoy, there are many other items of which he potentially enjoys, by eliminating one it is a show of punishment for the actions of his son, which has been explained to his son, the son either understands this, or is just plain stupid.
4. Neo… learn how to correctly type please, if your such an amazing intellectual with great insights on what this man should really do to take care of his son, show it in the way your communicating, otherwise, you are totally irrelevant to the majority of readers.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:38 pm
[...] 3phoenix Kid busted smoking pot, dad sells his christmas present (guitar hero 3) on ebay! X Men 5read more | digg story RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI Cartoons Fans Lounge [...]
December 6th, 2007 at 9:41 pm
Christmas is suppose to be about unconditional love and forgiveness right, so where does it say we all deserve gifts. I think that you cant just give your kid guitar hero III after you just caught him smoking pot, I dont think you can give it to him ground him and then give it back to him. I think it teaches poor responsibility, it doesn't really cost him that much and is an ineffective punishment. I think you go online and sell it and make someone elses christmas a little bit better. But there's no need to rub it in your kids face, I think you can still get him a christmas gift, you guys can still have your talk and your groundings and etc. But you can do all of that without relating your punishment to losing the game. I just dont think giving him such an awesome gift after he has been bad this year is necessarily the best idea. Maybe I would have spent the time with my child making a connection instead of waiting in line at all the stores…..
December 6th, 2007 at 9:41 pm
You ask where Christmas is in the father's actions.
Haven't you bought into the commercialization of Christmas hook line and sinker? It's about giving, you say.
I thought (and I'm not a Christian) that it was about the anniversary of the birth of Christ, hence the derivation of the name and that it's about family togetherness, love, peace… not Guitar Hero.
The traditional Christmas gift was once a candy cane.
The average cost of a child's Christmas gift has now risen to in the region of $600.
So I ask you, where's Christmas? Is it in a family sitting around a family meal and expressing familial love for each other? Or is it in wrapping paper, with a receipt in your back pocket, just in case.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
You punished your kid for using something that he has every right to use as a human being.
You're a douchebag.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:48 pm
In the real world, kids who get punished this way, because they got baked, are just going to think "okay well fuck you then asshole, ill just be more careful about how i smoke"
he's in canada, where it's a socially accepted norm in some places, smokin pot isnt bad, you should kick his ass if you see him smoking cigarettes though, that shit has cyanide and all kinds of poisonous chemicals.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:57 pm
Well Neo, I agree with you. I am not sure how many people here have had the pleasure of being told (when they were 15) that they didn't receive a single thing on their Christmas list simply because my parents did not like the fact that I enjoy playing video games. But let me tell you, it hurt really bad, it made me feel like my parents cared more about their pride and their ideals than they did for me. Kids mess up, all of them do.
But every child has a right to be loved. I don't mean to say that trying to teach him to smoke pot is a cruel thing (in fact, I believe it is the right thing) but having him watch as the present of his dreams gets sold to someone else or having him sell it himself… well folks I hate to break it to you, but that qualifies as psychological abuse. Which makes you a better person, a more mature adult: showing your kid that you still love him even though he messed up or mentally abusing him?
December 6th, 2007 at 10:00 pm
christmas isnt about religion anymore. its too corporate nowadays and what isaac did is what parents need to do to prevent the new generation from going down the shithole, which it is…….
December 6th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
he really just should've made him donate the gifts, that would teach him two lessons in one and open his eyes better
December 6th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
You punished your kid for using a substance that psychiatrists, doctors and most medical research scientists recommend to promote health, and he has every right to use it even though the "all-knowing" government funded by pharmaceutical companies doesn't like that a mere plant can beat practically all of their best medications without any negative side effects. The kid does not deserve this, as he should not be punished for doing something that pharmaceutical manufacturers deem to be bad in order to command the majority market share; would you punish your kid for taking an anti-depressant or a pain reliever such as ibuprofen?
December 6th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
I got $10 saying half the people who say "Dont sell his present or he'll keep smoking" are the kid and his friends trying to stop this from happening. Which by the way, would be hilarious as shit.
Oh blake? Guess what? The shit in cigarettes comes from the ground too.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
Selling his christmas present right in front of him is basically the definition of "Grinch."
December 6th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
I think you owe it to your son to lead by example. Punishing him this way smacks of your own egotistical power trip. I am not saying your intentions are not good, but to a 15 year old it will only reinforce two things: his father is vengeful, and he should be more careful not to get caught.
If you feel that he does not deserve the game, fine. Don't give it to him. Tuck it away and perhaps let him earn it one day. And then, on that day, explain to him why he didn't get it for Christmas, and remind him how much you love him and want the best for him. That will clearly demonstrate how big a man you are. But don't stoop to such a level as pawning it and showing him the receipt. It's petty, and you will gain contempt while losing respect. Best wishes.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Simple parenting, but I think the OP could've been a lot harsher on the kid. If you treat your child with mediocre discipline, you'll end up with a mediocre kid.
I think if the father wants to teach the son a lesson, he should sit the kid down, show him the guitar hero, and EXPLAIN why he's selling it. As well as grounding him. As well as taking away his allowance. As well as selling his nintendo wii. As well as taking away anything else he's treasured.
Before you rip me a new one over "he's just a kid", realize that if explained properly, the important thing is to make the punishment so severe that every time the kid thinks about smoking pot or doing anything else, it'll remind him what happens. The key, however, is to not be angry when he talks to the kid, but to explain WHY he's getting punished.
When I was around 14 years old, I stole a strobe like from a local store because it was "cool". When my parents found out, not only did they take everything I treasured away for a month, took me back to the store to return the product and apologize, but TOOK ME TO THE POLICE TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED. The local officer recognized what it was and sat me down to explain what happens when someone gets arrested for theft. He took me to the local holding cell, and explain to me the trial process, what probation meant, what house arrest meant, etc. He spoke to me like an adult, calm, collected, and matter of fact.
The next year I got straight A's, became student council president and started a local charity organization.
I don't think I'll ever thank my parents enough for that. I can't imagine what happens if I was rewarded with video games after being caught for it.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:09 pm
Also, auctioning the one game he's wanted for so long in front of his face is acting far more immature than a 15 year old smoking pot.
Some example that would be setting for your child.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:10 pm
My cousin and i started smoking weed at 14 and 15. I was living with my uncle for that time and never had a problem. I improved my grades from a 2.0 to a 3.5 from 10th grade to 12th grade all while smoking weed. I also had a weight problem (was 235 in 10th grade), but also dropped to 180 by 12th grade. My aunt and uncle found out about us smoking weed in 11th grade, and our lives were HELL for the rest of the time i was there. Although the one that was really pissed was my aunt. We got drug tested and had to spend extra time at the christian church (my aunt and uncle were devout born-again christians) altho me and my cousin were not religious at all. We were grounded, we were allowed to work a job, but were not allowed to spent the money, we had presents taken away from us on birthday's and christmas's, spanked and slapped almost every other day. My aunt and uncle made their own lives hell trying to police our lives. Of course those tactics did not work, and it caused a lot of strain on their marriage (they are now divorced) and made the whole house completely full of stress. My cousin was treated like that until he moved out, and he got into some bad drugs (meth) after he left. I was smart and joined the navy just to get away from that house. It took a long time before i would even talk to them again.
To this day, me and my cousin still smoke weed, i am a partner in a great business, i own an island, a boat, and i make my own hours.
The general conscensus is that marijuana is bad, that it dulls the brain, that it makes you stupid. But its the person that makes it bad.
The father wants to punish him because why, its illegal? Its been so decriminalized that at most if a cop saw you smoking, he MAYBE will give you a ticket. The father seems to have some stigma about drugs (or never learned about them, or he's bought in to the propaganda that weed is dangerous).
The father should look at his position. Does he want to be the teacher, or the cop. The teacher would show his student a documentary about weed, have them do a research paper, or have him write a paper about his feelings about weed; the cop would just punish, jail, and fine the criminal. What way do you think is the best course?
December 6th, 2007 at 10:19 pm
Oh please. This is nothing more than a huge publicity stunt to get this "controversial" story on Digg and others sites so the hype will rack up thousands of hits on the auction. And knowing very well that eventually some dumbass schmuck out there will pony up more than top dollar to (supposedly) reinforce your… read that their… belief that you would be doing the right thing.
Otherwise, why the hell would you even feel the need explain why you're putting GHIII up for sale? There is no other reason. ~M
December 6th, 2007 at 10:19 pm
im 15 and ill admit i do smoke pot.. all i can say is. consider it like this.
pot.. will eventually be legal. there are articles upon articles upon articles of official documents showing the progress of the case towards legalizing marijuana.. now on the other hand.. he could be smoking ciggarettes. which are simply filled with toxins(marijuana isnt all that bad for you) are going more and more towards illegalization. but smoking pot in the backyard.. pretty dumb move..still if my #1 gift was getting sold.. id walk out and smoke all the pot and drink all the liquor i could.. probably wouldnt be back for a few days
December 6th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
Merry Christmas, world. I hope you've learned your lesson. -God
December 6th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
I agree about not taking pot at an age where you're developing your truly influential habits as an adult, but ONLY if there is no goal in life being worked towards; It would be far more important to provide your son with an informed reason that shows that BOTH you and he understands the reasons for forbidding weed. Parents have declined promised reward as a method of punishment for as long as I can imagine; The real trick is making sure that the lesson leaves a 'positive pain' in both of you. Obviously it's bittersweet that you managed to find this present for your son and have to auction it, but it's also remarkably irresponsible to not address an insightful dialogue between you and your son on such an important subject. My parents asked me if I would stay away from smoking until I was at least 21 because they said that it was important to them that I try at school and learn while I have the opportunity.
Even more than shunning the bad habits, you have to encourage the good ones that manage to excite your child. It doesn't even mean that you have to take part in the activities, just let them know that you're impressed with progress and enquire as to how they're doing on something they're interested in. Get interested in it yourself and come to a conclusion.
Children, teens, and adults all find more enjoyment in something they relate in, and believe me; This is a time in his life and a subject that he will stonewall you if you walk in yelling and trying to intimidate. Your actions are what he doesn't like; smoking is what he does like. Do you really think that he'll suddenly 'come around' because you sending his friends away will show him the error of his ways? It comes down to human action and reaction. I haven't heard witnessed or encountered any misunderstandings EVER turning out in the favour of a parent who is repressive on matters important to their child.
Encourage having a positive, informed discussion. Your kids are more open to talking comfortably about a subject than trying to yell over you. Even then, they'll be more enticed to avoid you all together about anything questionable than let you know and gather your advice. You'll solve most any disagreement, and if not, at least you won't be shunned over it.
Don't let him see the sold Guitar Hero if you're set on selling it. I promise you that is an act that will be a grudge that won't be shaken easily in his later years especially at the age he's at now. Inform yourself (if you haven't smoked before, try it or research it (really research it beyond your TV news), form an opinion, and talk to him about any social, legal, and academic consequences of using marijuana without an end goal.
Finally, as a 24 year old whose teenage years aren't that far behind him and a quickly growing professional career; I'm going to pause for the cause, have a few tokes, and play some Fire and Flames before I head off to work. Good luck.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
I'm sorry, that doesn't seem to cut it, some people think pot is harmless but it's illegal if not unethical if not disgraceful to one's family, I'm sorry dad but selling his game wont be enough, I personally would punish him so bad that he would really feel how this little fling affected our relationship, non the less I couldn't get over you saying [think twice before doing illegal (well I think pot is still illegal in Canada) drugs on my property] you have got to be kidding me, what if not in your property? is that ok? please put some common sense into him, instead of thinking for him, let him know the consequences and live it, not so long after this he's going to live alone and not under your shadow.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
simple. just give hiim the guitar and hide the game and give it to him later.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
One thing I am confused by. Its a repeating theme I am reading over and over again this is a quote from NEO but he is just one of many who parrot this theme.
"You were BAD and so you can't HAVE it!! Ahahaha! This PROVES to you that I have the ultimate power here, I can take away anything I give you!"
I wonder why this is a problem. PARENTS DO have the ULTIMATE power in the family environment and that is PRECISELY as it SHOULD BE anything less and you HAVE no family environment.
I see it every day. Misbehaving children Children ABUSING there parents. Children THREATENING there parents and those threats actually having TEETH (dyphus etc..)
When you remove ULTIMATE power from the parents you remove ALL power from the parents. THE MOMENT the kids figure this out your job of parenting is OVER. Your power to guide the life or your child is permanently handicapped if not utterly eliminated.
The Guidance and POWER you exert over your child is all that will guide them through the rest of there lives.
They need to learn right from wrong and they NEED to understand the consequences for violating right from wrong can and are severe.
Taking away a stinking video came is NOT severe by any stretch. Selling it on ebay and making him watch is poetic.
If you guys think taking away and selling a video game is SEVERE unfair punishment then you guys are either also children and have no comprehension of severe and unfair OR you have a whole crap load of growing up to do.
Smoking pot could potentially DESTROY his life PERMANENTLY especially if he lives in a country where it is illegal and has draconian laws such as in the US (not sure of canada's laws in this regard)
I mean we are not talking about an in pain leukemia patient are we ? AND on top of that it does NOT MATTER if its legally or morally right or wrong. Its his parents wishes and his parents power is ULTIMATE or non existant. that is HIS CASTLE. HE makes the rules there within reason.
If mom and dad say you are to be home by 8pm it does not matter what is normal or what is considered acceptable THEY SAID 8pm THATS IT. Final End of discussion PERIOD.
When you are mature an adult and have your OWN PLACE to live that you pay for yourself THEN that will be YOUR castle THEN you can make the ULTIMATE RULES for your domain. Thats just the way it works. AND baring insane conditions I see NO problem with this. IN FACT any other conditions are EXTREMELY dangerous and asking for much trouble. JUST LOOK at the children in the USA my country today. its insane.
Parents get fined or even GOTO JAIL for things there kids to and when they try to correct them they are fined imprisoned or told NO you can not do that.
When the parents say well TELL ME HOW to do this if I am not allowed to correct them and all the "system" has as an answer is this.
Thats not OUR problem its your child. Just don't break out rules.
They REMOVE the "ultimate" power of the parents and they say tough tiddies when we say well then how the hell do we fix this? They want to dictate terms without providing alternatives to the problems THEY THEMSELVES created with there laws.
NOW they want to outlaw spanking? What the hell is going on here. I am not talking about pants down bloody behind with a strap I am talking grabbing your kid in the supermarket and giving him a little wop on the ass. They want to make such things illegal!!
AND YOU WONDER why we have the society we have today? instead of harsh treatment and hard knocks they just put you on ridolin and declare you to have ADD.
I think this kid got off REALLY freaking easy. After all he can later go and BUY another guitar hero III or EARN one from the parents when he does well.
VIOLATING the rules of the household ESPECIALLY something as important as substance abuse….. HE IS A CHILD he has not the maturity age or mental faculty to decide for himself objectively what is good and bad for himself. THATS HIS PARENTS JOB. Period End of Discussion.
When this is forgotten we are in for a ton of nasty smelling stuff.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:33 pm
And in the unlikely event the story IS true.. well you should be ashamed of yourself for using this issue with your 15 year old to inspire apathy and gain publicity to eek an extra buck or two from your damn auction.
Because that's the point I think most people are missing here… this little story isn't really about your kid, is it? It's about your auction. Period. So the way I see it you're either a loser… or an even bigger loser. ~M
December 6th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
You know, I'm an ex-kid myself, and if my parents had *publicly humiliated* me as a punishment for something minor like this — something that hurt no one else, was not dishonest and not particularly dangerous — it would have severely damaged my relationship with them.
A few more points to ponder… First, cannabis is decrimininalized in most of Canada — it's just a ticket in practice. It's well known that if it wasn't for heavy pressure by the United States, it'd be totally legal.
Second, I grew up in Canada, and every year some kid would die tragically by drinking too much and falling asleep on a park bench in the winter. You should be glad that your kid is smoking pot rather than drinking alcohol — it's a much safer drug.
Finally, he was smoking pot in your garden. Clearly he thought his house was a safe place. No more. Now he'll just go elsewhere to smoke it.
I predict this is the end of an honest relationship with your kid. You've taught him a bunch of lessons, all bad. If you'd sat down and had a nice chat with him, you might have learned a lot. Now he won't trust you again. I wouldn't, either.
(John — I don't understand why you think theft is at all morally similar to smoking pot. In a free society, smoking pot would be completely acceptable and encouraged over alcohol, alcohol being the drug that's the leading cause of violent crimes, the leading cause of car accidents, causes heart disease, cancer, cirrosis, and countless other problems. Theft is not just a crime, it's morally wrong.)
December 6th, 2007 at 10:37 pm
That's low… even for you dad…
I hate u, and i'll hate u for the rest of my life…
December 6th, 2007 at 10:40 pm
Dad sold your copy of guitar hero that you were supposed to get for Christmas? All the more reason to toke up
December 6th, 2007 at 11:04 pm
Wow, everyone here is *really* overreacting on both sides of the debate.
1. ITS JUST A STUPID GAME. Likening taking away a video game to taking away a puppy is waaay off. A pet is something to be nurtured and loved, interacted with, and taken care of. A video game is just a diversion from doing anything meaningful. Not quite a valid comparison.
2. If this is a real story (I have my doubts) then the father is just trying to get through to his son in a way he can understand. I mean, sheesh, he's not abusing the kid. Can you really blame him for this?
3. Finally - to those saying "its just a joint, be glad he's not doing meth". C'mon, quit with the self justification and moral judgments. If it violates the morals and lifestyle he is trying to teach his son then who are you to judge it?
December 6th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
Thank you very much for posting this story!!!
I have been racking my brain trying to come up with a Christmas themed horror film to release next year and this is perfect.
Plot:
Isaac, a generally good son, gets caught smoking pot with his friends in the back yard. His dad tries to get through to him by selling his most wanted Christmas present on ebay while making him watch the bidding war! But now, he's about to find out, that teaching his son a lesson, isn't so easy.
Highly resentful about the loss of his Christmas present, Isaac quickly turns to meth to deal with the pain. After a 3 day binge, he finally sleeps; and that's when he dreams of the perfect plan to get back at his father…
An Axe to Grind for Christmas (Rated R)
Coming to theaters everywhere December 2008…
December 6th, 2007 at 11:26 pm
Wow Chris Taylor Jr., you are blatantly wrong on so many levels it's scary.
Now, before I say anything else, I'm going to point out that I am 19 - A stage of my life where pot is very, very prevalent, and also a stage of my life where I'm making the transition from child to adult.
First of all, you act as though pot is the worst thing in the world and will, without a doubt, destroy your life. I've personally tried pot about two years ago (and I highly, highly doubt you ever have) and decided that I did not like it and have since never considered it again - I'm constantly offered (being at college) and I always say no. I'd say a large majority of my friend smoke pot and their lives are affected very, very little if at all. The valedictorian of my High School was a huge stoner, for christ's sake.
Secondly, you act as though a 15 year old has no mind of his own and is utterly incapable of making his own decisions. Though this may have been true for you, I can promise you it's not for 99% of other 15 year old childs. In fact, I have a 15 year old brother who is more than capable of making his own decisions because, guess what? He was raised properly by a father who respects his children and doesn't practice this "ULTIMATE" control you so heartfully love. It is true that parents should have this ULTIMATE power, but it is very, very wrong to practice it frequently and show it off as you think is so admirable. This will only lead to a sheltered child who, when he or she is forced to live on their own (ie college), they will be clueless and unable to make their own decisions. Trust me, I know too many people like that. Want an example? One of my friends from High School, Lance Healy, actually hung himself about a month ago because he was unable to live by himself at college. If you don't believe me look it up yourself on the University of Maryland website.
I'd also like to point out this quote from Chris Taylor Jr. so the rest of you can laugh:
"HE IS A CHILD he has not the maturity age or mental faculty to decide for himself objectively what is good and bad for himself. THATS HIS PARENTS JOB. Period End of Discussion."
… and simply say wow, your view of children is so misconstrued, I pity any children you may or will have and hope they don't end up like my friend Lance.
The fact is, selling your son's GH3 in front of his face is being far more immature than a 15 year old child smoking weed. Your child will learn absolutely nothing from this and the relationship between you two will forever be damaged. There are much more appropriate ways to punish your child, and you can read any of the suggestions posted by the competent people in this thread. "Period End of Discussion."
I apologize for this rant, but after reading some of these posts, and then Chris Taylor Jr.'s, I couldn't help it.
December 6th, 2007 at 11:42 pm
I personally believe in the old adage of let the punishment fit the crime. I would probably ground the kid, still give him Guitar Hero 3, but take the power cable to his Wii. And it wouldn't be a simple grounding for a week or so, it would be three months. That way, he would have to sit there and look at the game for three months before he could play it again. And the grounding would include not being able to go to his friend's house to play it there.
On top of that, I would let the parents of the other kids know what I saw. They would determine their own punishment, but my kid's interaction with those friends would be monitored, if not supervised. This would send the message that I don't want my kid to get in with the wrong type of people.
Pot is something you don't want adolescents to do. It would be the same punishment I would do for underage drinking. Just like with drinking, I would want to show my son to respect marijuana like he should respect alcohol and use it in moderation. I personally think Pot shouldn't be illegal and that the laws cause more problems than they solve.
I think what I would want to express to him would be to think about what he does before he does it. And especially not to fall into what his friends are doing. I'm all for fitting in, but be smart about it.
December 6th, 2007 at 11:42 pm
@XD Oh the ignorance:
4. Neo… learn how to correctly type please, if your such an amazing intellectual with great insights on what this man should really do to take care of his son, show it in the way your communicating, otherwise, you are totally irrelevant to the majority of readers.
Please refrain from criticizing someone for how/what they type when you can't even figure out the difference between your and you're. Here is a hint: BOTH instances of your in your comment should have been you're. When you try to belittle someone for poor communication skills while showing a lack thereof yourself you succ