Harmonix & MTV Shamelessly Present “Rock Band TV”

AKA – The Magical “Mystery Men” Tour.

Someone over at Harmonix either has a sick sense of humor or they are pre-emptively harvesting a pure comedy goldmine before the likes of YouTube. Over at RockBand.com, you can now watch videos ala Rock Band TV of what I can only describe as “Dorks on Parade”. Basically, Harmonix are starting a video rock-u-mentary (of sorts) of their ongoing nationwide tour of the country – exploiting the local sods for our amusement. These painful-to-watch videos are analogous to a low-budget American Idol show in dire need of euthanizing. Actually, that’s being too kind. It’s more like some bastardized version of The Gong Show that would only get syndication in hell itself. Strangling the Cat is an understatement here. The above video represents chapter one of this un-divine & un-poetic tragedy.

After recovering from the traumatic experience I’ve just witnessed, I can’t decide what makes me more sad:

1. The die-hard fans driving 250 miles to play a video game.
2. The die-hard fans “getting pumped up” pre-concert style for A VIDEO GAME.
3. The die-hard fan bringing his own drum sticks.
4. The “lost” skater with the Halo 3/Rock Band fanboy identity crisis.
5. The overbearing nostalgic boyfriend who thinks he’s Animal from The Muppets.
6. The “shy” singer who obviously gets so into it he screw up the lyrics to the song “Epic” (read the monitor, dork).
7. The “shy” singer having his mom drive him there.

So many good candidates for musician-wannabe dork(s) of the year here. Harmonix and MTV, have you no shame? So far, Harmonix have posted two of these bastard rock-u-mentary videos highlighting their recent tour of Milwaukee and UNLV (above). You can also find several video shorts of equal horrific value at their Tour Highlights page. And if news of this genuinely piques your maso-sadistic interest, you can stake your 5 minutes of fame by hunting down the next bus stop via The Rock Band 2007 Tour Schedule.

On a brighter/darker note, a new Rock Band track has been revealed: REM’s “Orange Crush”. IGN have done a Rock Band preview with bonus video of said song in action. Hey, it’s not the end of the world. *groan*

Too poor to afford a next-gen console & Rock Band? GameSpot gives word that a stripped-down version of Rock Band is now heading for the PS2. Sounds good if you just want to jam or practice with your recycled Guitar Hero controller. Beyond that, things get stupid. 480p + 4 instruments = lame.

So… Rock On, ya’ dorks. \m/

Via RockBand.com